life hasn't changed a lot in the last one year. it sure has been eventful but when i look back, i see that most things are just as they were last year. i think i am a lot wiser though :) i am more confident when i make certain decisions and i am really proud of the fact that i stick by most decisions i make!
Since I have been too lazy to talk about myself I decided I would do this tag and talk about other people :)
Name 20 people off the top of your head. 1. Srikanth 2. Neeraja 3. Nandini 4. Vasishta 5. Suji 6. Nanda 7. Sanjeev 8. Srinath 9. Sowmya 10. Akhila 11. Kalyan 12. Kamran 13. Ajay 14. Vamsi 15. Reshma 16. Ravi!! 17. Rajat 18. Rajeev 19. Anju 20. Rohini
How did you meet 14? Well we were classmates from class 7 to class 12. Awesome dude. He rocks!
What would you do if you have never met 1? Well he's my brother by blood so it is highly improbable that we wouldnt have met.
What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? Not possible.... I know for sure they are both straight :p
Did you ever like 19? She's a darling... my cousin :)
Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? Hahaha again, they are both straight so not possible :)
Describe 3 Hmm this one shouldnt be too hard.... Well she's the one i fell in love with and learnt a lot of things about myself. She is very very attractice... total fun to talk to and a bad singer (haven't heard from her in a while now!!) she's got an awesome sense of humor.... she's one person who used to succeed in pulling my leg more often than anybody else did. miss u!!
Do you think 8 is attractive? Well he thinks he is.... I wouldn't want to judge that... lets just leave this for the ladies :)
Tell me something about 7 I've known this guy for 11 years now..... Pretty chilled out... likes to have fun. Eats a lot!! Movie buff, not too much into sports.... loves to spend time with friends.... Loves to Eat. Can sleep forever and be extremely lazy when he has the most work on his hands. Loves to Eat!!
Do you know any of 12's family? Nopes. This guy is my neighbor here. Never met or talked to his family.
What's 18's favourite? This guy loves to organize things. be it trips, parties... any kinda event
Who is 9 going out with? Right now... nobody!s
How old is 16 now? 32 something ( i think)
When was the last time you talked to 13? A few day
Who's 2's favourite band/singer? AR Rahman, Unnikrishnan......
Would you date 4? Well I am straight and so is he!!!!!!
Would you date 7? Damn!! Whats with this..... All my friends and I are STRAIGHT!
Is 15 single? Yes she is
What's 10's last name? We share the same last name... she's a cousin :)
Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 13? He's a very good friend of mine... 12 years and going strong..... so nope! unless u wanna call this a relationship
Which school does 3 go to? Just graduated.....
Where does 6 live? Connecticut
What's your favourite thing about 5? She's total fun to talk to! We share a very common "sense of humor". that reminds me, I should giver her a call today :)
And I tag... "whoever thinks it is fun to do this".
I know of only 2 people that visit my blog and I think they have already been tagged with this elsewhere!!!
At 2.00 pm on Friday: I finally decided I wanted to go to Glacier National Park with all these guys. For a week I was debating if I should go thanks to the state of my bank account :) But Glacier national park is one place I fell in love with the first time I went there. I'd go back to that place any number of times just for that calming feeling that makes me free of all worries.
After a lot of work trying to get all our stuff into the 2 cars we finally left Moscow at 3.30 pm. It was a 6 hr drive and we made it to West Glacier around 11.00 pm (change of time zone meant we were losing 1 hr). H made tamarind rice for all of us and we had that for dinner that night and set up 2 tents to sleep. there was 9 of us and we got separated in groups of 4 and 5 to get into the tents. These tents were pretty big and there was enough space for 5 of us in one tent. There was another big problem. Within 5 minutes S started snoring loudly!!!! I usually fall asleep really quickly once I am on the bed. But this wasn't to be and I couldn't sleep at all thanks to S. So finally at 1 am I got into the car, cleared the back seat and tried to sleep there. We wanted to leave early the next morning and I am the only guy in the group who can get up to an alarm call even with very little sleep :)
So I had the alarm set to 5.30 am so I could wake all these guys by 6. At about 4.50 I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. It was really really cold outside (below freezing) so I did not dare to get out of the car for some time. At about 5.30 I went to the bathroom which wasn't too close to our camp site (in that cold even 500 meters felt ridiculously far),came back and started getting all the lazy bums outta the tents :)
On Saturday we did 2 hikes. One was to a place called "Avalanche Lake". The trail was about 2.4 miles (one way) and we had great fun all the way to the lake. We came back and drove to "Two Medicine" and went on another hike there which was again about 2.5 miles long (one way). This one was really really steep and it took us a really long time to get up due to some "big" people in our group :)
Once we came back from the hike, we drove to "Rising Sun". This part of the Park is for me the most scenic place I have seen anywhere in the world :) We setup our tents (this time 3) and lit a campfire. Myself being the only guy in the group who had experience with camping earlier was the adviser for the trip and all food arrangements were made after consulting with me :D I suggested these guys bring marinated chicken legs so they could grill them on the fire. For the 2 veggies (myself included), we brought Boca Burger patties and grilled them too. Once we were done with the food and beer, most people wanted to sleep and some people wanted to drink more beer.
I decided to go for a walk along the St. Mary lake. I had done this earlier and if I had the chance I would do it every year :) I sat on the shore just gazing at the twilight and the moon rising and a lot of thoughts came back. I had a pen in my pocket and dug into my wallet to find a piece of paper. I started writing....
All alone I stand here, Missing you by my side And I wished you were here, Giving me and my life a little guide
Left with nothing, but a worthy treasure And priceless stock of memories I bet no one could ever measure And compare our part of stories
All alone, today, I stand here In this world, so big and wide And I still wish you were here Always and forever by my side
NO I am not depressed and not sad at all... Word just came flowing and I wrote :)
As I sat down and read what I wrote more memories came back and I was reminded of a song
bin tere kya hai jeena mere dil ki raani tum meri khushiyon ka mausam mere khwaabon ki taaviz mere sapanon ki tasveer bin tere kaisi aas woh jeet ho ya haar tere sang hai sab kuchh tu na ho toh bekaar bin tere kya hai jeena
suni khaali raaten ruthi feeki baaten har aahat pe chaaukun tujhko harsu dekhu tujhko hardam sochu tujhko har pal chahu tere bin toh jeevan mera hai intezaar bin tere kya hai jeena
tere saath jiye jo pal kuchh unse nahi badhkar tere khaatir saans main loon teri khaatir jeeta hoon marne ki tamanna bhi tere saath main rakhta hoon tu hai jeene ki wajah kar mera aitbaar bin tere kya hai jeena...
Some of the lines in this song are extremely cheesey but the song just came back to my mind and I was actually singing it loud. I guess some songs relate so well that they becomes part of our life........
Anyways I was so deep in thought I lost track of time. It was pitch dark and the time was about 11.30. Some guys from our group came down and asked me to come back as we had to get up early the next day again and I was the official "alarm clock". We went back and I couldn't sleep for a very very long time. A lot of things "we" talked about came back to my mind and I couldn't help but wonder how things would've been if you had not made that once decision.
I finally fell asleep at about 3 and got up at 5.15. We HAD to get up early because the place where we camped was most famous for a drive during sunrise :) It was about 10 miles all along the lake and towards the rising sun. the road itself is called "Going-to-the-sun". We came back and M and K made breakfast for all of us. We drove to St. Marys and went on a hike which was about 3 miles long and saw 2 very beautiful waterfalls - Virginia Falls and St. Mary Falls.
We came back and had a good late-lunch at a cafe outside the park and went back to our campsite. It was very cloudy and getting very cold so we decided against another hike. We just spent time chit chatting around the fire. I did not go back to the lake and I did not write anymore :)
We slept early and got up at about 7 the next morning and started our long drive to Polson where we wanted to go Jet Skiing. This drive is probably the best in the US for me so far. it was a total of about 180 miles and we did it in less than 2 hours :) I hit speeds of 125 mph and just for the sake of a bet did a 50mph curve at 95mph. I am more than a little crazy when it comes to speed but only when I have the right company in the car. If there are people who are scared of speed I would never cross the speed limit :)
We reached Polson and stopped at McD's to have breakfast. I talked to a couple of local people and they said the Skiing season was not yet open as the lake was still very very cold. Just to check we went to the resort and they confirmed it. We drove back to Moscow without any further halts and that also meant it was the end of a totally fun trip. :)
Been extremely busy the last couple of weeks doing things I love the most.
I have joined the WSU-P cricket club here and now play cricket regularly. We have practice sessions every tuesday and thursday and games on saturday/sunday. And these practice sessions are longggggggggg.... we start off with a 20 minute warm-up and some jogging and then we have catching practice followed by fielding practice and then either bowling or batting :) So like I said it's keeping me really busy and tired. And I love it.
I have been watching a lot of movies!! In the last 2 months I think must've seen about 10 new movies... Shooter, 300, Fracture, The Namesake, Tara Rum Pum, Disturbia, Hot Fuzz, Spiderman, 28 weeks later. I liked all of those except Tara Rum Pum and 28 weeks later.
I have started learning how to play the piano.... and no its not some class I am taking There's a yamaha keyboard that's been lying at home for the last 2 years so I thought I should just start trying to use it. I learnt 3 songs by myself :) Kal Ho Naa Ho (title song), Tere Liye (Veer Zaara) and Are re Are yeh Kya Hua (DTPH)
I have also been reading a bit... Finished reading "The Bourne Ultimatum" last night, read "The Namesake" for the second time a couple of weeks back and also read "The Broker" by John Grisham.
I am now an expert at making paneer masala, chole masala, sambar, pongal (hot). Every desi in town I meet has heard about my cooking skills and keep asking me when I'm gonna invite em for dinner :) My mom's gonna be real happy. 3 of 4 recipes I got from her. thanks mom! u made me famous!!
I love the way my life is now.... I knows its probably not how I wanted it to be a couple of months back... but I've always believed that change is the only constant thing and if things had to turn out this way I have no problems with that as long as I get to smile atleast once a day :)
I have completely lost it. I am an emotional fool and I need to learn to take control of my emotions. I think I have a huge armour with a small hole on it. What most people say to me hit the armour and I don't feel it at all. But some people really know where the hole is and I am affected by small things they say. They are so dear to me that somethings that they may say unintentionally cause pain. That is what I need to change in myself. I need to be stronger mentally or rather be more crude.. I should let the brain take charge for the most part and not even let matters go close to the heart.
Earlier today I shed tears over something very trivial. I hate myself for doing that. I don't deserve to be this way. I deserve much better and I will do all it takes for me to feel better!!
I look at the screen and I can't understand any of the shapes or images. Hazy vision, unclear thoughts, incomprehensible actions, mind in a whirl, fingers resting on the keyboard unable to move. Suddenly, the brain seems to take more time than usual to process signals. Even after the signal's sent out, my body seems to have a different mind of its own and doesn't want to obey. Twenty windows open at the same time, none of which seem to be there for any reason.
To avert my eyes from the pain, I look around and there are pictures of happier times around me. I look at myself hugging my best friend. The happiness in my eyes, the light in his face, and the joy in the picture seems very alien suddenly. I want that back. Right now!
Is that what I really want? I don't know. There's a numb feeling inside, that I'm not able to identify. Is it pain? Or maybe sorrow? Is this supposed to be the emptiness that everyone talks about? I want to go back to sleep. Maybe when I wake up it'll all be gone and I'll be normal again. I want to go to the beach and stare at the sea like I always used to back home. Maybe the waves will engulf this empty feeling. I want to get soaking wet in the rain. Maybe the rain will wash away this pain. I want to eat lot of chocolates. Maybe they'll fill me with the warmth that I'm unable to feel right now.
Actually, I need a hug. Wish I was saying this to a real person.
Main jahan rahoon Main kahin bhi hoon Teri yaad saaath hai Kisi se kahoon Ke Nahi kahoon Yeh jo dil Ki Baat hai
Kehne Ko saath Apne ek duniya chalti hai Per chupke is dil mein tanhai Palti hai Bas yaad Saath hai Teri yaad saaath hai
Main jahan rahoon Main kahin bhi hoon Teri yaad saaath hai
Kahin to Dil mein yaadon ki ek suli gad jaati hai Kahin har ek Tasveer bhahut hi dhondhali pad jati hai Koi nai duniya ke naye rango mein khush rehta hai Koi sab kuch paake bhi yeh mann hi mann kehta hai
Kehne Ko saath Apne ek duniya chalti hai Per chupke is dil mein tanhai palti hai Bas yaad Saath hai Teri yaad saaath hai
Kahin to bete kal ki jade dil mein hi utar jaati hai Kahin jo dhage tute to malayen bhikar jaati Koi dil mein jagah nai baaton ke liye rakhta hai Koi apni palkon par Yaadon ke diye rakhta hai
Kehne Ko saath apne ek duniya chalti hai Par chupke is dil mein tanhai palti hai Bas yaad Saath hai Teri yaad saaath hai
Soft piano notes welcome Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and his magical, soothing voice commencing ‘Main Jahan Rahoon’, which is easily the best track of the album (Namaste London). It’s a composition befitting Rahat. Superb classical arrangements and minimal background music, as per the mood of the song are the highlights.
Needless to add that it’s a flawless rendition by Rahat, as he conquers the crests and troughs with élan, proving himself to be a true inheritor of his uncle’s (late Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan ) legacy. Javed sahab’s lyrics are apt and at the same time classy, conveying the hollowness and emptiness, which occurs when missing a beloved.
Krishna compliments Rahat with his classical touch and it’s the lyrics “Kehne ko saath apne ek duniya chalti hai, par chup ke tanhai is dil mein palti, Bas yaad saath hai, Teri yaad saath hai” that keep haunting the listeners once the song is over. Well done Rahat and Krishna! and for once let me say Himesh too :)
I’m obsessed. Bulla ki Jaana by Rabbi Shergill has been playing on and on for the last 3 days and I can’t have enough of it. Too late to the party? Better late than never.
Bulla Ki Jaana is working on both levels for me. One, the lyrics, by a Sufi Saint, Bulleh Shah who I had heard of but didn’t know much about. And the other is the beautiful song itself, woven so delicately by Shergill.
What is beyond our day to day struggles for survival, beyond our dreams, beyond our huge self-blinding swollen egos, beyond every desire, love, pain, fear, apathy, grief, lust, pride, anger. Even beyond the positive ones like courage, acceptance and peace. What is beyond all that? Ultimate and Absolute freedom? Everlasting immersion into the Higher Power? Enlightenment? Self – Realization?
Questions…but no, am not looking for answers. Right now, Bulla calls, and I wanna be free… even from all these silly questions...
There will be some who’ll be immersed in the song’s music - completely intoxicated. While some may get a glimpse of release, from everything binding, by listening to the lyrics. I started listening to the song just because the music was really nice but after a while I started noticing the lyrics and read about the song/poet and I love the lyrics too!!
Here's an english translation of the poem...
Bulleh! to me, I am not known
Not a believer inside the mosque, am I Nor a pagan disciple of false rites Not the pure amongst the impure Neither Moses, nor the Pharoh
Bulleh! to me, I am not known
Not in the holy Vedas, am I Nor in opium, neither in wine Not in the drunkard`s intoxicated craze Niether awake, nor in a sleeping daze
Bulleh! to me, I am not known
In happiness nor in sorrow, am I Neither clean, nor a filthy mire Not from water, nor from earth Neither fire, nor from air, is my birth
Bulleh! to me, I am not known
Not an Arab, nor Lahori Neither Hindi, nor Nagauri Hindu, Turk, nor Peshawari Nor do I live in Nadaun
Bulleh! to me, I am not known
Secrets of religion, I have not known From Adam and Eve, I am not born I am not the name I assume Not in stillness, nor on the move
Bulleh! to me, I am not known
I am the first, I am the last None other, have I ever known I am the wisest of them all Bulleh! do I stand alone?
that I have mellowed down. that I have lost the essential thing that made me me. that I have changed. that I cannot be selfless. that I cannot lie and cheat. that I do not know how to say the things on my mind. that I know not how to exchange pleasantries. that I have tried and failed not many times. that life still has a few lessons to teach me. that I need to cry my eyes out. that they are ashamed of me. that they sometimes hate me enough to love me. that I need to speak my mind out to them. that I need to think more and make my decisions accordingly. that I can still be childlike and talk to them about my loves and lives. that I ought to write more. that I should learn to love myself unconditionally. that I should try to be more "normal". that I should learn to make more inspired moves towards the fairer sex.
